NOBODY GIVES AN F-STOP ABOUT YOUR TECHNIQUE
“The f-stop is the common term for the focal number or aperture, from the Latin “apertura” or “opening”. It is the controllable parameter by which light is allowed through the lens onto a camera’s image sensor – which would have been the film negative in days past. Think of it like the iris in your eye: When you step into bright sun, your iris instinctively constricts to allow less harmful light in. The reverse is true when we walk into a dark room. This iris dilates to allow the most available light in, again instinctively, for our safety. So: bright light = constricted small iris and dark light = dilated big iris. Except in photography the f-stop is the opposite...”
By this point, in my weak attempt to make a connection, I usually would have completely lost the CFO, who would rather be doing anything else in the world than sitting for a photo. I know this because she told me when she arrived for our leisurely ten minutes together before she had a meeting. Also, she hates having her picture taken. Also, if I could “photoshop” her crow’s feet out that would be great.
The only person who cares about your technique or “how you do it” is YOU. Unless you are leading a tutorial or answering a direct question, keep your science to yourself. We don’t get paid to explain what we do. We get paid for delivering on what is expected – hopefully in a new and exciting way. My job is to get the shot. As I always say: “It is in the best interest of my business model to have a client be pleased with how they look”. In the end, no amount of equipment or expertise will help if I am unable to achieve that basic goal.
The last thing in the world I would want is for someone to think about is how I did it or what lights or camera I used. The only thing the viewer or client should be focused on is what the subject is radiating.
My lights or camera can’t do that. I can’t “photoshop” that. It’s about how I relate to the person I am working with. Take the camera and equipment out of the equation completely. I often joke with kids that the camera is just a big silly mask that does what my eye tells it to do and when they are looking at the lens, it’s just goofy me on the other side. I usually also make a fart joke. (NOTE: I have yet to try a fart joke on a corporate executive, but I will let you know how it goes if I do...)
Much in the same way that I would not want a car dealer to admit that he’s “just trying to get me to pay a little more”, I would never tell anyone “I need you to relax a little bit.” If I said that, I would never be able to get the CFO to trust me enough to give that confident smirk I need when she appears as the only woman on the corporate officer page of the company’s new website.
When I have a client or subject that is hesitant or has shut down (believe me: I can tell), the last tool I want to use to get them to show me a glimpse of their true self is a camera. It is me. You learn quickly what photographs were taken with the head versus the heart.
Our knee-jerk should always be to honestly relate to people when we sense that someone has put up a wall. (This does not only apply to photography.) In this modern world, we are increasingly divided... and we have grown comfortable with that division. I don’t just mean politically or ideologically. Look around. We are increasingly binary as a culture. There is no gray area. You trust me or you don’t. You are either smelling the roses or you are wasting time.
A friend who was in recovery once told me a parable from his therapy that resonated. “If you’re walking down the street and you come across a jerk, move along. Maybe that guy’s an jerk. If you keep going and you come across another jerk, keep going. What are the odds? But if you come across a third one, then maybe they aren’t the problem. Maybe the jerk is you.”
In my work, finding a real connection to my subject is the only currency I have to create an honest image of them. That requires a great amount of openness. If I can spend nine minutes getting to know my subject and one minute taking great authentic shots that show the truth of who I am working with, everyone will be happy. Nobody wants to try to find the one or two usable shots from ten minutes of what felt like a corporate mugshot shoot.
But when I do find myself working with people who are not receptive, if I can’t get out of my own way enough to realize that and move past it to try other avenues of connection, then the problem is not with the person I am trying to relate to, but with me. And when we find ourselves in those moments, then perhaps it is time to look into our own lens.